I have a Blackberry Bold!  Let me tell ya, it’s the most awesome shit I have ever known!  I have no idea how I managed to last so long without one.  Okay actually, I do.  I had no idea what I was missing out on!  So I pity you non-Blackberry having fools!  MUAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!  Until you get one, you’ll have no idea as well!

What was I thinking?  My kids are damn spoiled.  Not rotten, just spoiled.  While my husband’s job sent him out of town for 14 days (bastards) I decided to embark on an extreme make over on the girls room. A way to keep myself busy and not notice how many more days I had to spend alone I thought.  Yeah right.  Busy indeed.  Every try to paint 4 walls & all the base boards and still manage to take care of a 3 year old & 1 year old at the same time.  I’m seriously surprised that I wasn’t bashing my head into the kitchen counter half way through my project.

But I did it!  That’s right bitches, who’s the WOMAN!  I painted all four walls, all the base boards, and oh AND hand painted my daughter’s names on their walls.  Oh yeah, I repeat who’s the WOMAN!  Of course additionally added all the little princess items my daughter’s and I encountered at every damn store.  Which included a princess clock (the eldest insisted on having even though she can’t tell time), a Disney Princess Castle decal for her wall, princess night light, trash can, & bed ensembles.  The only thing we are lacking is a rug perhaps.  We’ll see if we can locate one.

But yay me!  Take that men!  I wanna see you multi task anything with two small children involved let alone an entire room make over.

Had to make a trip to Walmart yesterday.  I was carrying my youngest & holding the hand of my oldest making my way across the parking lot.  I finally get to the cross walk section directly in front of the doors and begin to cross.  When I see to my left a car heading our way.  This car was far enough back that I felt safe enough to begin to cross and making the assumption that this ass knew that pedestrians have the right of way and would stop if he had made it to us before we made it inside.  Well he doesn’t.  I had to stop myself and my eldest daughter  or else this mofo would’ve hit us.  Then he just stops.  Right in front of us.  Completely stops.  Wtf douche bag!  Well his windows were down and my eldest daughter says quite loudly “Mommy we have to stop until this cheese face decides to get out of our way.”  The man looks at me and I laugh and said “Yes, you are so right!”

So I say…you know you’re an asshole when you get put in your place by a 3 year old.  Douche bag.

We just had our windows replaced with these super awesome energy saving ones.  So super awesome that they fall under the energy saving bill that will get us a $1500 tax credit next year.  Oh and be sure that when they gave their pitch the company went crazy about showing us the most energy saving and environmentally friendly windows that they offered.

So the day arrives that our new super awesome windows are to be installed.  Or at least they had better be super awesome for what I had to pay for them.  I casually ask one of the gentlemen working what they were going to be doing with our old windows.  Which had simple aluminum framing surrounding a basic window.  He tells me they’ll just toss them in a dumpster.  What, what, what?  No, no, sir.  That would be the wrong answer.  Not just because I am obsessive about helping the environment but also because this company gave me the save the planet and your wallet speech during their window pitch. 

Well what the hell.  What a predicament.  What is a earth loving momma like myself to do I ponder?  SO, I immediately started googling  any places near by that would recycle these kind of materials.  There were actually quite a few, including Habitat for Humanity (which of course would just reuse your items for another family).  Once I located one that was only 15 minutes away from my home I told the contractors to leave the materials and I would see to it that they were properly recycled.  And that’s exactly what happened.  The contractors neatly piled everything in my driveway and my husband packed every bit of it up into our van and took it to the recycling facility.

Does it sort of bother me that I paid so much and in the end felt slightly misled by the companies level of environmental concern.  Yes.  But all together I feel good.  I have fantastic windows and having taken the initiative to see to the proper disposal of our old materials gives me a great sense of accomplishment.  Yay me.  And yay going green!  

OMG, yes that deserved to be in all caps.  Does anyone else have a relative, I mean a direct relative.  So direct it’s a mother or father biologically, that you just really wonder if there is a conspiracy you just don’t know about.  That there has to be some kind of secret cover up and everyone else is in on it but you.  Because you just seem to be nothing like that relative.  I mean absolutely nothing like them.  They couldn’t be more different then you in intellect and personality then if they were Jim or Jane Smith down the street.  And in fact some times you may even think that Jim or Jane are more like you.

Just curious, because that’s how I feel.  And I just don’t get it.  I wish I could find the smoking man because I am convinced that I must be an x-file.